Thoughts and Concerns on Education and Special Education

My thoughts on being an educator is of great joy. I have wanted to become a teacher since the first grade, and now it finally feels like that is really what I am doing. As I move forward in the TAL program I could not be happier that I chose the path I did in becoming an educator for education and special education. I always knew that I wanted elementary school, and through this process I learned about different age levels and needs of students at different ages. From being in a first grade classroom much of my field experience I have realized how much of in impact you can have as a teacher on students, especially when they are so young. Essentially, as educators for young students, you are setting up the foundation for their future, which is exactly what I want to do. I have concerns about teaching, but who doesn't? I am not sure anyone can honestly say that there fully prepared with no worry in mind. Teaching is not a job you can ever be fully prepared for, because each year brings new students, which means new strategies, a different pace, and a lot of your teaching depends on your student's. One of my major specific concerns is how well I can differentiate. As a special education teacher as well, I know it is more then very possible that I will be in an inclusion classroom, and I will have a wide variety of student's. This concerns me because teaching is a hard job in general, meeting all student's needs are hard in general, but it seems particularly hard to teach a lesson when student's are all over the learning spectrum, and every lesson could have to be modified. My concern, is that I will walk into the classroom and by the end of the year not meet all my student's needs. I know that teaching and differentiation takes practice, but I cannot imagine not understanding what is going on in class, or being so bored from not being challenged enough, I never want my student's to feel that way if I cannot even imagine feeling that way. As scary and concerning as teaching can be, I am truly more excited then anything else. I am scared that I will not meet the standards, or my student's will not meet the standards, but then when I think about how scared I am, I know I am not the only teacher that feels that way. I know that all educators have concerns, especially new educators such as I am concerned about how well off as a teacher I am going to be and will I be a teacher that is beneficial to my student's lives? In reality I am anxious, I have concerns mixed with excitement and I know when the day comes more and more thoughts and concerns will enter my head. What I know now, as we have just gotten into the core of our program even more, that I definitely picked the right path for me in becoming both an educator and special educator, because my goal is to make a change and be a positive impact in my student's lives just as my elementary school teachers were in mine.